i found someone im getting to know
& i can honestly say that im happy im taking it slow.
Monday, August 30, 2010
part one of two.
i hate the feeling when you know you’re going to cry.
Your lips quiver, your heart pounds, your eyes sting. Your face clenches up, and then the
tears start to fall.You can’t stop them, no matter how hard you try. And it’s not little
tears that slide down your cheeks, it’s big tears that make your eyes red and puffy, your
face tear-stained and your body heave.
You can’t stop the tears, and as you lie on your bed alone, you think of what could you
have possibly done to stop the pain. Stop the suffering. Stop this, stop what you’re going
through. But there’s nothing you can do, nothing anyone can say. It’s the kind of tears and pain
that need to be cried out, not talked out. You can’t help it, and sometimes, you just
don’t care.
I've gotten a lot better with things that involve my dad
the counseling and distance has actually made me feel better.
Except the other night,
I was listening to ADTR "have faith in me" and when the part
comes up
"Have faith in me
Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe
So cling to what you know and never let go
You should know things aren't always what they seem
I said I'd never let you go, and I never did
I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it"
I completely lost it,i know that nothing is my fault and that i couldn't
and still cant control his actions or words,but i have my days where i
miss him so much.
It will be 3 years tomorrow that my dad stopped talking
to me.
On the upside, if it wasn't for Chris Walter and Dara Tanzman
calming down i probably would have been a
mess for a couple days.
The firsts day he stopped talking to me i was fine
the first month was okay to,but when the first year hit i started
to go severely down hill. I didn't do anything or want to do anything for
a really long time,until recently. I was in a really deep depression but was
able to put a happy face on,or should i say,a very strict no emotion face on for
everyone else around me. I've never been one to want to talk about my feelings
im more of a keep it to myself and worry about it later. I was more worried about
my brothers and sister,and didn't want them to see me upset or mad over anything.
But this anniversary has me thinking one thing:
For the first time in my life, i don't even want to say anything to you at all
Your lips quiver, your heart pounds, your eyes sting. Your face clenches up, and then the
tears start to fall.You can’t stop them, no matter how hard you try. And it’s not little
tears that slide down your cheeks, it’s big tears that make your eyes red and puffy, your
face tear-stained and your body heave.
You can’t stop the tears, and as you lie on your bed alone, you think of what could you
have possibly done to stop the pain. Stop the suffering. Stop this, stop what you’re going
through. But there’s nothing you can do, nothing anyone can say. It’s the kind of tears and pain
that need to be cried out, not talked out. You can’t help it, and sometimes, you just
don’t care.
I've gotten a lot better with things that involve my dad
the counseling and distance has actually made me feel better.
Except the other night,
I was listening to ADTR "have faith in me" and when the part
comes up
"Have faith in me
Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe
So cling to what you know and never let go
You should know things aren't always what they seem
I said I'd never let you go, and I never did
I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it"
I completely lost it,i know that nothing is my fault and that i couldn't
and still cant control his actions or words,but i have my days where i
miss him so much.
It will be 3 years tomorrow that my dad stopped talking
to me.
On the upside, if it wasn't for Chris Walter and Dara Tanzman
calming down i probably would have been a
mess for a couple days.
The firsts day he stopped talking to me i was fine
the first month was okay to,but when the first year hit i started
to go severely down hill. I didn't do anything or want to do anything for
a really long time,until recently. I was in a really deep depression but was
able to put a happy face on,or should i say,a very strict no emotion face on for
everyone else around me. I've never been one to want to talk about my feelings
im more of a keep it to myself and worry about it later. I was more worried about
my brothers and sister,and didn't want them to see me upset or mad over anything.
But this anniversary has me thinking one thing:
For the first time in my life, i don't even want to say anything to you at all
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